I’m sitting here at work… again. I don’t even know if I could call it work. Honestly I really feel like I’m not doing anything. It’s not that it’s not rewarding. I like my patient, but I don’t think I’m doing her any justice. I don’t think I’m doing this right. And I always feel like everyday she’s going to sack me.
She’s started being more sarcastic towards me. Generally about my being “lost” in the house. I guess I move too slow for her. But then again everytime I go downstairs I go to the bathroom because I like that bathroom better. There isn’t that seat thingie that makes me feel uncomfortable.
So yeah. There’s that. And the creepy sound my computer is making. Who knows why it’s making these sounds. I’ve made space on it. Now it must be that something is wrong with the fan. le sigh. I hope it doesn’t die. That would just be another thing that I need in my life right?
I dunno. Maybe I should go back to PCs. But they take so long. And I love my MacBookPro. I can’t live without it.
What am I going to do?
I’ve entered into a contest on MTF, my favorite forum. It’s a beauty pageant of all things. What’s an ugly like me doing in a beauty contest? Hell if I know. A big part of me wants to get out of it. I’m nervous and I just want it to stop. But there’s nothing else to do if I don’t do this.
I need something to do. I should write my stories. I should find a writing group to join. Have a life. Something. I need and want something more than a life online. But not with my friends. I don’t want the same things they do. I don’t think we’ve been on the same page for years. Le sigh. What to do. what to do.