Random Acts of MEESH.

I am training someone today. I really think that this is all sorts of weird. I’m not used to having to teach someone things like this, simply because I’ve never done it. Yesterday I also kinda trained another girl about how we do things at night, although she works days. 

I find it peculiar that I’m doing this because it seems very managerial. 

Also I’m a little freaked out because the new girl is gorgeous and I’m feeling inadequate. But she’s pretty nice. 

okay end thinking.

fuckyeahladygaga:

Today, my best friend and I pulled up to a stoplight in Topanga and we heard Bad Romance playing on someone’s radio. I looked over and saw a man in his late 40’s, driving a fairly large Dodge truck, dancing and singing. He looked at me because I was dancing too and he put his paws up.

Thanks, man for completing my night. MLIG :D

Submitted by jashleijoy

So apparently, a couple of days ago, the White House Committee of whatever… I can’t remember… anyways CONGRESS had that showdown with the dudes from BP. That part I knew… but what I just found out on this early, early Monday morning is that there was a congressman who actually APOLOGIZED TO BP! What the hell? Congressman Barton said:

“It is a tragedy of the first proportion that a private corporation can be subjected to what I would characterize as a shakedown, in this case, a twenty billion dollar shakedown.”

Seriously??? Seriously? I am tired, absolutely tired of the way both BP and the government are handling this. Yes, I am pro-Obama and yes, I still think that overall he is doing the best he can. Because for some reason or another people seem to think he’s the only one in congress. No. He may be the dude highest up on the ladder, but there are still the people underneath him that help decide what needs to be done. In a way, because of this disaster, I feel a little sorry for President Obama, because at this point, he is the face of the government. And the government is comprised of people, both left and right. And all these people are getting their pockets lined by some shady business or another. 

Which is why it doesn’t surprise me that the Congressman who said this was from Texas. Yep. He is from the state that is sterotypically known for oil mongers and crazy, racist white folks. He eventually retracted his statement, and even in the beginning claimed that this thought was his alone, but really? As a political figure, or as anybody, once it has been said, it cannot be taken back, no matter how many apologies one gives. 

It’s actually quite pathetic. There are a few Republicans that agree with Congressman Barton, but I believe that Fox News always has the last say when it comes to their hallowed party. So you know a Republican has fucked up when Bill O’Reilly actually APPLAUDS President Obama and has an arguement with a fellow Republican, Congresswoman Michele Bachmann, who in the few times I have seen her, I have deemed her an idiot in office and a disgrace to women. The only woman worse than her is Sarah Palin, but that’s another story. 

Anyways. The Minnesota Independent posted this:

On Friday, Bill O’Reilly praised President Obama for getting BP to fund an escrow account for victims of the gulf oil spill, adding that he’s “not agreeing with” Bachmann’s use of terms like “extortion.” Far from it, O’Reilly says he’d “go in there with a machine gun if I were president” to secure payments from the oil giant.

I never thought I’d agree with anything Bill O’Reilly says because I think he looks like a racist creeper, but this time I have to agree. I, too, would go in there with a machine gun (or some other extremely intimidating weapon). But then again, that’s the type of person I am. If I had the opportunity and got anywhere near the BP CEO’s house, I’d raid that place and take everything in there. Same with Donald Trump. Honestly, I don’t know why people need so much money. Yes I like money. YES I WANT MONEY. But I just don’t understand why hold on to such a vast amount of money that there is no way four generations of your family would even be able to spend it all.

Those people in Louisiana need that money to survive. Everyone needs money to survive. I wonder if they would still want to keep the rest of the oil rigs open if they knew that they would be able to find another job making the same wages in a safer environment. Congress put a moratorium on drilling and a lot of people in that area are very critical of that since that would stop the jobs of many people there. And once people lose jobs, then small businesses lose money, etc. But… if they did have something else… if they did have a bit of a cushion to sit on while they looked for another job or waited for the oil companies to fix their safety issues, would they be so upset about it? The people who work on those rigs understand that they are taking a risk, but they take that risk to put food on the table and a roof over their families’ heads. But I’m sure the wives of those who were killed would be willing to sacrifice a few things in order to save their loved ones.

I really hope that BP does pay up that $20 billion. I honestly don’t think that’s enough. And I don’t care how the President (AND CONGRESS) got it… I’m just glad he did.

Now that I think about it, Congressman Barton validates my feelings that the Republican members of office really don’t care about the people, nor their small businesses. They only care about how to keep their pockets full. I’m sorry for all of you who vote Republican thinking that they represent you economically.

I feel sad. I don’t know why I feel sad. I just do. This, of course, is a common occurrence in people. I don’t know if everyone notices it or if it’s just people with depression that do, but anyways, that’s how I’m feeling right now. I know that this is part of the cycle that is bipolar disorder and that it will get worse in a couple of days. I think I’m supposed to up the dosage of prozac when that happens. Or was it the wellbutrin? I can’t remember. I’m pretty sure it’s the prozac though.

I realized that I was kinda bummed when I didn’t feel like playing my facebook games, although I left this blog idle while I played a little. I really don’t feel like it though, but I don’t want all my efforts to go to waste. I just don’t feel like anything right now. Maybe I’m in the blah phase instead of the start of the sad phase. The sad phase sucks because I know that my period is coming up. And I always get so emotional when I’m on my period… to the point where I make bad decisions.

It’s so frustrating to feel this way. I’m really tired right now, but of course, like any other weekend, I’m working. Maybe I should call in sick tomorrow? My co-worker had said that she would fill in for me if I ever needed it. But I really kinda don’t want to. I’ll figure something out. 

I am constantly wondering if this is the right place for me, the medical field I mean. It can be tough, but that’s not really what bothers me. It’s the human interaction. I’m so grateful to my job for providing insight to what my life could be while I’m a nurse. I really would rather be an RN nurse I think. Although at this point I don’t even know if I want to be a nurse. Who knows, you know? I think that if I do continue down this path that I would be able to do it, be a nurse. But I don’t feel like doing it anymore. I’m just tired I guess. 

I really feel like the first few lines of Lady Gaga’s Speechless is how I feel right now, like I wish someone would really sing that song to me

I can’t believe what you said to me, last night we were alone. You threw your arms up. Baby you gave up, you gave up. 

It really just sums up how I feel right now. I do want to give up; I just want to walk away from this whole life, whether it be by dying, or by just running. Although, I don’t really feel like running. I don’t know if leaving would fix this hole that I have in my heart - in my soul. 

Often times I wish I could put the words - the fictional words, as we all know that it is quite easy for me to write about my own personal life - onto paper (or on the screen these days). I feel like I could make money doing it. Sometimes I do at least. I don’t know how much of an advance an author gets from a publisher, but I know it is a decent amount. I don’t know if that counts for Harlequin romances though hehe. 

I guess that’s it for now. I keep getting distracted. 

I fell in love with you yesterday. I don’t know what it was, as this thing generally never happens to me. Lust is one thing - to find a gorgeous man and say, “Wow, I’d like to date him.” But there was something else there as you taught me the steps. You told me to look into your eyes and so I did. When I looked up to see, the height difference between us made me crane my neck much more than the rest of the people on the floor. I found myself looking at a pair of deep green eyes which had that gaze, as cliché as it sounds, that seemed to stare into the depths of my soul. It made me nervous beyond belief. I never thought I would be so glad to stumble in my life, as it gave me a reason to look away.

But it was too late, the warm heat of a blush had already flared in my cheeks, something that could not be hidden so easily as one’s eyes can be shaded by lowered lids. “Are you okay?” you asked me. I nodded, for I feared that if I tried to speak, nothing would come out or worse, drool or something incoherent and embarrassing would be said. You helped me right my steps and we continued on as the intense, seductive music of the tango enveloped me with a feeling that I didn’t think possible. I never thought I could feel sensual in public; I had always felt like the awkward girl, sweet and nice, but always only just a friend. However, there with you on the dance floor, I felt sexy, as if I had finally blossomed. 

“One. Two. Three… One. Two. Three…” I chanted, staring at my feet, as we practiced the most basic of steps. You stopped abruptly and with my focus on my feet, I stumbled yet again. You steadied me with your arms and then lifted your hand to my chin and tilted my head back up. “You must always look at your partner,” you said with your rich Spanish voice. You picked up my hands and we started again, my eyes never strayed. And as I looked into your eyes, trying to decipher what was behind your intense gaze, the steps came easier. In hindsight, I find it peculiar how the steps began to flow the minute I stoped thinking about them and started trying to figure out YOU. 

I grew more confident in my steps, still keeping the eye contact, wishing that the dance would last forever. But alas, as it always seems to be in my life, the music had ended and the dancing had stopped. There was a small moment - a minute fraction of time - where your eyes seemed to reflect the same way I felt. You let go of me and addressed the class, most of whom were already preparing to leave. You turned to walk away, but I was still standing there, my mind confused and trying to figure out what had just transpired. I was the last one left on the floor; I was not waiting for you, that seems a bit desparate. But I just couldn’t move. The ring of a phone jolted me back into reality and I took my belongings and left.

I wonder if we’ll ever meet again.

When did my job stop being about caring and became a steady chant of “think of the money?” Doesn’t that sound awful? It’s not like I don’t care anymore… but there are more and more times where I feel like losing my temper. I can only get insulted so many times when trying to help. And right now… my back hurts unbelieveably bad from trying to keep my patient standing before they sit themselves right onto a bar or even the floor. I’m sure I did all of that wrong… because I’m sure there’s someway to help a person stay vertical while not hurting your back. But all of my patient’s weight is on me and when I say that I am holding my patient up… I mean it. I try and use the side of my body to keep my patient straight, but then they start to lean heavy on you, trying to sit on what they think is the toilet. And when you tell them to turn… they get mad. Tell you to shut up. I’m just trying to make sure my patient actually sits on the toilet before an accident occurs…. I don’t know if they think I’m sort of sadist when I say they have to turn before they sit… like you know… “I’m not allowing you to sit until you turn.” rather than “You need to turn so when you sit, you land on the toilet.” Who knows…. God this pain is really bad. 

Things like this make me wonder about my profession choice. And that scares me.

This is an intense survey, you ready?
i guess.

First off, your whole name?
Mischa.Masha.Moo.

What should you be doing right now?
who knows.

Ever kissed someone whose name started with A, B, C, & D?
last dude i kissed started with the letter T

Do you still talk to the person you liked 3 months ago?
Well considering the person I liked 3 months ago is still the person I like now and just so happens to be a professional athlete… no.

Would you rather have orange juice or milk with your breakfast?
Water.

Do you enjoy watching comedies or horror movies more?
Is more a preposition? No. It’s not… still working on that nonsense. But I prefer comedies.

Once a cheater, always a cheater?
I think it depends on a cheater and their track record in relationships, but I think that once you cheat, the possibilty of you cheating again is quite high.

Do you want to get married?
I don’t know. 

Do you and your parents have trust?
I suppose so.

Was the last time your heart pounded like crazy for a good or bad reason?
Anxiety is terrible. Mixed with a caffeine addiction… awful.

Are you easy to get along with?
No. I don’t know. Ask the people I’m around.

Honestly, are things going the way you planned?
No. But they haven’t for a while and so now I just kinda try to adapt.

Have you cried this past week?
I think so.

Do you prefer drinking water from a bottle or from the sink?
Bottled water…. even if it’s just sink water in a bottle.

When was the last time you were told you were cute?
Um I dunno.

Are you the type of person who likes to be out or home?
I like to be asleep somewhere that isn’t my own home.

Did anything make you smile today?
I think somethings my friends have said have made me smiled today

Do you like thunderstorms?
Not particularly

Are you tired right now?
I’m always tired.

Who did you last hug?
Dad?

Have you been under the influence of anything in the past week?
Nopes.

Are you taller than most people your age?
That is a firm and solid no.

If you caught your significant other cheating on you what would you do?
Cry.

Love is special, right?
I guess.

If you found out your best friend was having sex with a person you were with, what would you do?
I’d probably stop talking to both of them for a very very long time.

When will your next kiss be?
le sigh.

Ever sat in someone’s lap because there were no more seats in a vehicle?
Nopes.

Have you kissed someone more than 20 times in 2010?
Shut your mouth before I slap you in the face.

Will tomorrow be better than today?
Who knows.

Have you ever woken up next to someone and freaked out?
Nope… wait… yes. Lol

Do you want a relationship right now?
I’d like someone to cuddle and a fuck. If a relationship comes with that, sure.

Do you have your belly pierced?
No person want to see my belly pierced.

Do you usually have a smile on your face, or are you a serious person?
Let me put it this way, I am looking for a wrinkle remover to apply in between my eyebrows.

Have you smoked a cigarette today?
No. I can’t even remember where I put those Camel No. 9s

Do you think somebody likes the same person you do?
There’s a whole bevy of people who like the same person I do.

Have you ever turned to drinking or smoking to solve a problem?
Drugs.

Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos?
Yes.

How many things in your past do you regret?
One major one. 

What was the last thing you drank?
I just took a sip of my Starbucks energy drink.

Are you going to bed after this?
I am currently in a bed, but I am not sure if sleeping shall be involved within the next few hours.

Last time you kissed someone, was your hand around their neck?
Nar.

fuckyeahmath:

theMEESH: I wanted to know if I could take Calculus I again for the summer.

Counselor: You passed the class, you can’t take it again for credit.

theMEESH: I know, but my friend is in it and he needs help with it. Besides, I kinda want to take it again… for fun.

Counselor: In all my years of being at this school, I have never heard anyone say they wanted to take Calculus for fun.

—-

Yes. I love calculus.

because you know how i love me some calculus.